and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
