Sry I called you an 8
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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