Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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