So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
