and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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