You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
