please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
