STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
