Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
