oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
