We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
