All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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