I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
