Having a random hookup so left but love u
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
