all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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