i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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