watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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