I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
