I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
