roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
