walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
