don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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