My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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