remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am available for nakedness
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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