kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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