Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
