You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
