Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
