We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
