So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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