We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
