what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
