moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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