yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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