Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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