Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
