I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
