dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
