i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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