HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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