just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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