we made out on top of his cat.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
