i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
