guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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