i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
