Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize