I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
