i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
