oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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