I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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