Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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