fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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