I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
