Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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