we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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