there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
