He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
