I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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