I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize