im drinking this country out of the recession.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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