After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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