I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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