If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
