There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
