Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
