You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
