I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
