Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
